


Unregrettable

by Elesianne



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Unrequited Love, Years of the Trees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-10 18:29:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20532602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elesianne/pseuds/Elesianne
Summary: Indis' love doesn't shine without shadows, yet she cannot find it in her heart to regret it.





	Unregrettable

**Author's Note:**

> I might later add chapters to this about later periods in Indis' life.

After a bright, loud beginning her love is quiet, and it is heavy.

Though Indis longs to sing her love like a bird, to let it soar and grow, she must keep it within her chest where in her quiet moments it pulses, painful; yet she cannot regret it.

She cannot regret the pleasure she feels when she looks into Finwë's eyes, those thoughtful grey eyes tinged with bright, beautiful blue, or the delight when something she says makes them crinkle as he laughs.

But far more often than to Indis Finwë's eyes turn to Míriel, her friend, and Indis cannot give herself any hope. Her love grows heavy, for she was never any good at pretending to herself.

It is fortunate that she is good at pretending to others for pretend she must. She must keep her love quiet and hidden, though it is a loud, insistent thing within her. She must keep it from taking over her so that her love for Míriel shall not turn heavy too. She could not bear that other weight of lead on her heart.

She is immeasurably grateful when it doesn't, not even when Míriel's eyes and heart turn to Finwë, not when they declare their betrothal to the joyful people of Tirion.

Indis smiles and congratulates them and sings, in a chorus of the Vanyar, at the betrothal feast. It is a relief to be just one voice among a small sea of golden voices. It is easy to hide there, under the surface. If she had to sing alone she could not contain inside her all that she feels, the grief of her loss solidifying, becoming certain, along with many other confusing feelings.

She cannot begrudge Míriel for loving Finwë. How could she, when she knows in her own heart how worthy of love he is.

All the same, it is also a relief when her brother decides to move their people away from Tirion, closer to the Trees and the Valar. She supports him in his decision, and it is only half a lie that she too wishes to live in the light of the Laurelin and Telperion. She hopes that their blessed light will make her hidden love easier to bear, and the distance too.

She tells Míriel and Finwë that she will miss them, and that too is only half a lie.

Out of Tirion, there is space enough to sing of all that she feels, with no one but birds and beasts to hear her when she escapes to the wooded slopes of Taniquetil and the wide fields of Valinor.

Her love is lighter to bear when she does not have to keep it quiet at all hours, but it does not fade away even in the light of the Trees. Indis thinks that it would have been strange for it to do so for even though her love is not without shadows and not without pain, it is not a dark thing, and she could never regret it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I'm also on [Tumblr](https://elesianne.tumblr.com/).


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